Sunday, September 15, 2013

Thank You! To My Followers!!

Hi Ladies!

It's been more than a couple of months since I last posted to my blog. I apologise sincerely. I love this blog and am 100% committed to providing you with information that could potentially change your life. 

However, in July, I chose to take on a job that would require far too many hours of me. Not only did it prevent me from blogging, but it also cost me my health. I eventually quit two weeks ago. If you would like to learn more about Bipolar Disorder, and how it has affected my life, please click on these links:

How Bipolar changed My Life and A Supplement Made Me Better
One Crucial Supplement That Can Change Your Life

This post is just a shout out to the dozens who continued to follow me throughout my absence. Thank you! I promise you that we will pick up right where we left off. Thank you for your continued support. 

I will continue to write from my heart and hopefully continue to inspire and motivate you.


Wednesday, July 10, 2013

A Man’s Body Language Will Always Tell The Truth

We’ve all heard those startling statistics. A whopping 93% of all communication is non-verbal. That’s a lot not being said. Which means that in order to us to stay on top of the decision-making process during the dating process, we must do a lot more than listen.

We need to become experts at decoding body language. To begin with, observe what he does with his body  while he speaks. Look at how he carries himself, how he interacts with others, his behavior while on a date. In the end, you must judge how well all this non-verbal communication aligns with what you need in a man. You also must gauge how his actions affect you.

There is so much going on at any one time, it is difficult to know exactly what to pay attention to. In order to become your own body language expert, you need to first determine the things that are most important to you in a relationship.  These are the things that are your deal makers or breakers. Things you must have in a man and the things you definitely must avoid in order for you to be happy and fulfilled.  If you did your self-inventory (click here if you have not), then you will already have a solid list that will serve as your guide. Just before the big date, return to this list so they are foremost in your mind.

Here are some of the things you need to pay attention to, if you are going to understand what your date’s body is communicating to you.
1.       He calls you at 12pm to arrange a date. You were in a meeting at work and unable to accept his call but you attempt to call him at 6pm. He doesn’t pick up and does not get back to you until 12pm the following day, even though you clearly explained that 12pm is not the best time to reach you. In fact, you offered several more times when you are available.
What can you surmise from this? That he’s too busy for you? That he does not pay attention to details? Based on your self assessment, you will know if this is okay with you.
2.       He shows up for a lunch date 25 minutes late. Although he did call to say he was running late, he never explained why. In fact, he never mentions being late at all. What do you make of this behavior? If you are a stickler for time or respect, this would kill any chance for any other date. If this is unimportant to you based on your self assessment, then you would be okay with this. The point is to pay attention to see when behaviors violate what you deem acceptable in a life partner.
3.       Is his car a mess?
4.       Is his body odor the first and last thing you encounter?
5.       Does his driving make you uncomfortable?
6.       Is his choice of dating venue suitable? Are you a vegan and he took you to a steak joint insisting that you need to branch out and try new things? Did he choose an R-rated film when you both are Mormon and his dating profile claims he is very religious?
7.       Does he look at you when you speak to him or does he gaze through the window when he responds?
8.       Does he appear uncomfortable when you ask about his experience working at a company you also worked at years ago?
9.       Does he tend to interrupt you when you are speaking?
10.   Is he constantly checking his phone? Or his watch?
11.   Does he swear a lot and for no reason?
12.   Is he a good conversationalist? Or is he more monosyllabic?
13.   Does he compliment you?
14.   Does he seem clearly animated and excited when talking about his job and his life?
15.   Are there give-away signs or pauses when he speaks about where he is in life?
16.   Does he make insensitive or intolerant comments?
17.   Is he more interested in your body that getting to know your heart?
18.   Does he have solid friendships he seems to really enjoy?
19.   Is he energetic?
20.   Does he seem happy? Does he smile (even with his eyes) when he looks at you? Does he laugh easily?
21.   Is he spiritual/religious?
22.   Does he expect you to pay half for lunch?
23.   Did he open the door for you?
24.   Is he intelligent?
25.   Is he someone you could respect?
26.   Is he proud of the life he lives?
27.   Does he come across as demanding or negative?
28.   Do you feel at ease in his company?

This list is not exhaustive in the least. Feel free to tailor your observations to what’s important to you. This is just to get you thinking about how much you can learn from paying attention to non-verbal communication. I am not condoning or condemning any behavior whatsoever. I cannot. What may be a definite turn-off for you may not affect me at all.

The next time you are on a date, remember, that your underlying goal is to get to a decision as quickly as possible. If you practice observing non-verbal cues on a day to day basis, you will certainly become better at it. This is just one more tool that will help you when you are trying to make a determination whether to accept a second date or not. It should not take six dates to make a determination if you did your self assessment and you know what you are looking for.  If you prepare seriously, you should have your answers by the end of the second date.

If you enjoyed this article, please drop me a note in the box below.

You may also enjoy reading:   

Live every day as though your life depends on it ... because after all, IT DOES!

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Tuesday, July 9, 2013

How To Become A Body - Language Expert

We’ve all experienced that one person who we thought was a “really good guy,” only to learn 6 months or two years down the road that he really was not.

That always prompts retrospection, wondering what clues we might have missed.

During the dating process, your goal is to waste as little time as possible with the wrong men, so you can move on to finding the one that’s right for you.

While any successful dating experience must be fun, you cannot lose sight of your end goal. That of determining – quickly – if this man is right for you.

I’ve written several articles about dating and I hope by now you took the time to figure out in detail what you must have in a long-term relationship in order for you to be fulfilled. To learn more about the preparation it takes before you even accept that first date, you may want to read: Before You Accept That First Date…Self Inventory, What You Could Learn From Your Younger Self, and 20 Life-Changing Questions You Must Ask Yourself.

Have you ever had to make a decision but you knew deep down that you did not have all the information you needed to do so? How did that make you feel? Of course you were less than confident. You probably delayed making the decision for as long as possible. It may even have kept you up at night.  Or you just did not feel like yourself.

Before you can make this all important decision of choosing a life mate, you must be confident in your self and in your ability to make a great decision. You must be certain that you can gather all the information you need to make this decision within one to two dates.

That’s how long a mature, self confident woman needs to determine if she ought to spend any more time on a particular man. One or two dates. That’s it.

So, how do you become a body and language expert and have fun at the same time?

1.       First you set him at ease. You do this by coming to the date with an open mind, confident in your ability to get the information you need, and ready to have fun. Your attitude should immediately convey this to your date.

2.       Next, you get him talking about himself.  Most people love talking about themselves. Find out what gets that person excited and get them talking about it by asking the right questions.
But remember, this is a date. Time to have fun. So don’t begin interrogating him. The best way to have a man open up to you and give you the verbal and nonverbal cues you need to make a decision about him, is by approaching the date in a non-threatening, nonjudgmental manner. Allow the conversation to flow with natural give and take and a lot of flirtation thrown in.
3.       Ask the right questions. You must guide the conversation so he inadvertently gives you answers to the questions that are most important to you. During the process of getting to know yourself (self inventory) you completed exercised that would have led you to the things that are most important to you. Ask questions along those lines. If financial success is very important to you, tactfully guide the conversation to topics that will allow him to show off that side of himself (or lack thereof).
A simple question such as “where did you grow up?” can lead you to learning a lot about his family, the type of relationship his parents had, about how he views family and relationships, etc. Do not forget to listen and ask follow up questions that keep the conversation going in the direction you want – while keeping it light and fun, of course.
4.       Listen. Really hear what he says. I have a friend who was told on the second date not to expect commitment. Because the date went well, she chose to see him again, wound up wasting seven years – until he reminded her that he had told her from the start he was not looking for anything permanent.

That covers the language part of “body-language” expert. Now, on to the “body” part of it.

5.       Keep a look out for non-verbal cues. Does he sigh when he speaks of his dad.  Does he seem excited about his job.  Is conversation challenging for him. What specific topics seem particularly exciting to him. Does he speak positively about his childhood but seem sad at the same time? How does he treat the people you come in contact with?

Remember, nonverbal cues make up 93% of all communication. Put your relationship detective skills to work for you. Stay alert. We’ll discuss more about these non-verbal cues next.

More Dating Resources:
Blind First Date Study (Are they Attracted  To Each Other?) 

Live every day as though your life depends on it ... because after all, IT DOES!

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Friday, July 5, 2013

Your Ultimate 3 Day Detox Plan

If you are anything like me, you had way too much of everything yesterday. Cakes, beer, vodka, fries, pizza, soda, chips. All in the same 6 hour period. If you are feeling a bit remorseful today, here is a plan to flush out all that junk from your body and get you back on track.

Flush Your System
I do not regret the occasional junk food meal. However, I do take steps to repair my body afterward. I believe that our bodies are a function of what we eat. A day of junk leaves me feeling lethargic and bloated for days afterward. I suspect it is the same for a lot of women.

The first thing I do on the morning after a day of eating junk food, is to flush with a pint of water immediately on waking. I add a splash of lemon juice to warm water and drink it all before doing anything

else. Both the warm water and the lemon juice provide a mild cleansing action which your body will need to begin the process of eliminating toxins from your body. Lemon juice also creates an alkalizing effect in the digestive tract. The more alkaline, the healthier the body. Lemon juice also is a great source of antioxidants. This is an excellent way to begin your recovery from your 4th of July over -indulgence.
For Breakfast
Instead of your usual cereal, bagels or toast, enjoy two grapefruit halves and a couple of boiled eggs. For the next three days, you are going to detoxify your digestive tract by filling up on fiber and foods that stimulate a cleansing action. The eggs provide protein that will keep you feeling fuller longer.

Detoxify With Water
This is one time when the normal recommended 8 cups per day is not enough. You will need to drink a cup of water every 30-45 minutes. Nothing detoxifies quite like water can. You need this much to beat the lethargy and bloating from having excess carbs and junk food. If you became dehydrated from the alcohol, drinking a lot of water will replenish your parched cells.

Cleansing Snacks
In between breakfast and lunch, and again between lunch and dinner, fruits such as mangos, melons, prunes, peaches, and kiwi will boost your antioxidant intake. Your body needs this to repair itself. These fruits will also aid in the elimination process.

A Delicious Fiber-Filled Lunch
For lunch, make it a huge fresh salad. Throw in some beans and nuts for a satisfying and tasty meal. Avoid drinking any carbonated beverages and opt for water instead.

For Dinner
To top off your first day of detox, end it with a sweet potato and poached salmon.  

I have followed this routine before and I did it again today. By the end of the third day, your body will be back to normal, the bloating will be gone along with the extra calories you consumed in the spirit of celebrating the nation’s birthday.

What are some things you do to get back on your diet following a binge day?

(I am not a health professional. I only suggest what works for me. If you have special needs, you should speak with your health professional before starting any modified diet.)

Live every day as though your life depends on it ... because 
after all, IT DOES!

Friday, June 28, 2013

6 Easy Fitness Challenges - Anyone Can Do them

It’s summer. The days are longer and hotter and we tend to eat out more.   It’s all too easy to just let ourselves go. Who wants to pass up on a great barbeque with friends?  The kids want ice-cream every day and who can blame them? But we find ourselves indulging as well.

To help keep you at your goal weight this summer, here are a few tricks that I have used to make sticking to my diet less boring.

   1. Make a plan to replace your lunch with a fresh salad and low calorie dressing all of next week. If this means preparing your own salad and taking it to go, be sure to plan ahead and do so.

   2. Set up your schedule so you can get in a full hour of cardio exercise every day for the next six days.  After these six days, you go back to your regular routine. But this will give your weight loss a boost and rev up your metabolism. When I know it’s just for a few days, I find it easier to stick with it.

   3. No sweets this week. Whether it’s that iced tea that’s laced with sugar or cookies, promise yourself to give it up for just one week. When the week is over, you may be pleasantly surprised that this simple maneuver caused you to break through to losing those last stubborn pounds.

   4. No dessert until Friday. If you normally have dessert every day, set a goal of not having any until a specific day every week. If the day you choose is a Friday, you do only have dessert that day each week. See it as a treat for all the hard work you put in leading up to that day. What I usually do is, I go out of my way to get my favorite dessert or try something totally new that day so I look forward to it.

   5. No food truck meals this week. If you live in NYC like I do, food trucks are a staple. It’s usually more budget friendly and it’s conveniently located right across from your job.  Make a plan as to what you will do for breakfast and lunch so you do not stop at the food truck. Maybe scope out a vegetarian joint in the neighborhood, or pack your own meals. You’d be surprised how many calories you avoid just doing this. Don’t they say a New York bagel without topping is about 750 calories?

  6.   No carbs this week. I do not recommend this as a long term solution to staying fit. However, if you have ever gone off carbs for short periods of time, you’d be amazed at how light you feel. When I did, even my chronic bloating went away. Plus, you lose a few more pounds as well. Fill up on lots of fruits and vegetables. Fruits like watermelon, and all the fruits that are in season this time of the year are water based and will provide you with the extra hydration you need in the summer heat.

With each of these tips, I find it easier to maintain my weight since I am not constantly depriving myself.  This week I may choose to avoid carbs, but next week I have it. The variety makes it interesting. This is also about making conscious decisions toward having the body you feel good in. So have fun with it and come up with other challenges of your own.

What tips have you used to stay on top of your weight loss?

Live every day as though your life depends on it ... because 
after all, IT DOES!

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Is Your Sunscreen Really Protecting You?

When I am searching for accurate and honest information on every day, I usually turn to Consumer Reports. I believe that they are non-biased and can be trusted to provide actual results regardless of the company behind the product being tested.  Consumer Reports recently published an astonishing report regarding the efficacy of sunscreens available in the U.S. today.

Only 6 Sunscreens Tested Met Consumer Reports Standard
What did they find? That only six sunscreens tested met Consumer Reports standards - which for you means that only six of all the hundreds of brands out there may actually be protecting you from burning, skin cancer and aging. What’s worse, Consumer Reports tests showed that more expensive does not equal better protection. In fact, the number one sunscreen – the one that scored highest on all the factors assessed by Consumer Reports  is among the cheapest you will find anywhere.

 According to the American Academy of Dermatology, your sunscreen should protect you from both UVA and UVB rays. UVB rays are responsible for sun burn. While sunburn is never a good thing, these UVB only penetrate the top layer of the skin (the Epidermis). They do not cause as much long term damage as UVA rays which penetrate well into the Dermis.  UVA rays cause a lot more damage than UVB. These rays penetrate through to the deeper layers of the Dermis and are the primary cause of aging and skin cancer. UVA rays are so dangerous, they even penetrate into the deepest parts of the ocean.

Which is why your sunscreen must provide protection from both. The best sunscreen should continue protecting you even when you are in water. So it also needs to be water-proof.  Of course, reapplying every time you get out of the water will help keep your level of protection up.  It’s recommended that you apply 2-3 ounces, thirty minutes prior to sun exposure. This allows it to penetrate into the skin, providing the protection you need.  If your sunscreen has Titanium Dioxide or Zinc Oxide, you are protected from the moment you apply. And of course, you  need protection year round, even during the winter months.

What Is SPF?
SPF stands for sun protection factor. Each sunscreen bottle comes with an SPF number. That number signifies the product’s ability to deflect UVB rays. If you normally burn in 15 minutes without any sun protection, an SPF of 15 will give you an additional 15 minutes before you burn.

Most Sunscreens Are Not Giving You The SPF Protection Claimed on the Bottle
According to Consumer Reports, several of the sunscreens tested poorly because where they claim to offer a high SPF, tests reveal that they did not come close to providing the protection claimed. There are products claiming an SPF of 15 that only provide half that. Because of this, it’s recommended that even if you feel you need only SPF of 15, that you purchase one that claims an SPF of 50 on the bottle.

To compound the problem, many sunscreens do not carry an expiration date. This is troublesome because they lose their efficacy after about a year.  You could be using a product you purchased a week ago, but which expired five months ago. The FDA is working on regulations that will make an expiration date mandatory.

The Top 6 Sunscreens On The Market Today
Here are the top 6 sunscreens as tested and rated by Consumer Reports:
                                The #1 Sunscreen is the U.S. is:  UP & UP Sport SPF 50
                                #2:  Equate Ultra Protection SPF 50
                                #3:  Coppertone Water Babies SPF 50
                                #4:  Walgreens Continuous Spray SPF 50
                                #5:  Hawaiian Tropic Sheer Touch SPF 30
                                #6:  Coppertone Sport High Performance SPF 30

Remember, skin cancer is the number one cancer in the U.S.  And your risk for skin cancer doubles if you’ve had more than four sunburns in your lifetime. Get a good sunscreen with a high SPF, one that provides protection against both UVA and UVB rays, and is water resistant – and use a lot of it!

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

20 Life-Changing Questions You Must Ask Yourself

I am one of the thousands of people whose lives have been dramatically improved by the teachings of Anthony Robbins. Tony (as we affectionately refer to him) likes to say: "Ask yourself great questions. The quality of your questions can change your life."

I'd like to extend that thought a bit further for clarity here. Great questions are a start. Spending the time pondering and responding honestly to great questions is where real change begins. To this day, I begin every day by asking myself questions intended to help shape and guide my day. It's an excellent habit.

Here are 20 questions that will help you improve the quality of your romantic relationships. These questions are excepted from Neil Clark Warren's book: Date or Soul to tell if someone is worth pursuing in two dates or less.

 1.       Who is the most important person in your life, and why?

 2.       What is the one dream for your life you most look forward to achieve?

 3.       Who has the capacity to make you angrier than anyone else in your life, and what in particular does he              she do to make you angry?

 4.       Who has the capacity to make you feel loved more than anyone else in your life, and what in particular does he or she do to cause you to feel so lovable?

 5.       What is it like being you? More precisely, how do you feel about yourself – physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually?

 6.       When do you feel inspired? Who and what contribute to your sense of inspiration? How does it feel when you are inspired?

 7.       What is the most important thing in the world to you?

 8.       If you had one day to live, how would you want to spend it?

 9.       When do you feel most afraid?

 10.   If you could accomplish only one thing during the rest of your life, what would it be?

 11.   What bores you? What always bores you, and what never bores you?

 12.   How important is money to you? How much time do you spend thinking about it, and what income level do you aspire to?

 13.   What is the role of God in your life? Do you believe there is a God, and if so, what is God like in relation to you?

 14.   In order, what are your three strongest interests?

 15.   Who is your biggest enemy, and precisely how and why did this person become your enemy?

 16.   How important is food to you? Do you think of it very often, and do you feel disciplined in your management of food intake?

 17.   Does the idea of being married to the same person for the rest of your life sound appealing to you – or not appealing? What is there about it that you would especially like of not like?

 18.   Do you think of yourself as an emotionally healthy person? In what ways are you especially healthy, and in what ways could you use improvement?

 19.   What is the role of conflict in your life? Do you argue or fight very much with the people closest to you? How does it usually turn out for you?

 20.   What specifically would you like your closest friends to say about you at your funeral?


I encourage you to spend several quiet hours alone while you do this exercise. As you do, focus on what you are trying to accomplish here. Write a couple of paragraphs to explain each of your responses.

You will find yourself becoming more in touch with who you are, more certain about your deepest needs and desires and what it takes for you to be truly fulfilled in a relationship.

I hope you have as much fun and moments of clarity as I did completing this exercise. Did any of these questions hold special significance to you? If so, please comment in the box below or follow me by email. Following by email ensures that I can respond to you directly and privately.

Live every day as though your life depends on it ... because 
after all, IT DOES!